A Season for Enthusiasm (and a bit of Frustration)
I’m a very keen gardener (obsessed might be a more accurate description, according to those who know me well). So when the weather is gorgeous and sunny like it has been this week, I love to be out in the garden. The last few days I have been trying to sit in the deck chair and relax, just enjoy the sun. I do manage it for a bit but sooner or later my mind starts getting restless and I start thinking of all those things that I would like to be getting on with: pruning roses, feeding pots, re-planting my peppermint… and so on and so on.
While gardening has been a source of joy for me during my illness, it has also been a great source of frustration, as my physical stamina is so far behind my enthusiasm and motivation to be doing things. I’m sure all of my ME friends who are reading this blog know the feeling very well. It’s not that I’m not letting myself just to sit and relax – I have plenty of time for that – I just wish my energy levels allowed me to spend more time being active.
But one must be positive though – and the easiest way for me to achieve that today is to think of the spring two years ago. I was on a strict pacing routine at the time, so I had a quota of time allocated to different energy-consuming activities. I remember my gardening quota was one minute at a time, no more than three times a day, three to four days a week. You might ask if it was even worth it trying to do any gardening in such a short time? Well, to me it was, as it was all I could manage, and that was better than no gardening at all. And my London garden was so small that if I kept doing 3 minutes per day regularly, I could look after it pretty well. Compared to that, I am much much better now, which is fantastic.
So, dear friends, lets be grateful for both small and big improvements that come our way, after all it is the only way to keep going.